Doctor

"I have a patient who needs a brain transplant. The family want to know how much it would be".

"A male brain is £2,000 and a female brain £400".

"Why such a difference in price?"

"Because the female brain is actually used, so I have to knock the price down!"

Optician

A man goes to an optician and says, "I can't see very far". The optician takes the man outside and pointing to the sky says, what's that up there?"

The man replies, "It's the sun". The optician said, "Well how far do you want to see!"

Why am I so Tired?

For a couple of years I've been blaming it on iron deficient anaemia, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.

Now I have found the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired, that leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.

Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from that the 14,800,000 people, who work for local government,

And that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 ill and in hospital, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons, which leaves just two people to do the work, you and me.

And you are sitting there reading this. So that leaves just me to do ALL the work.

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